Just remember that visiting a marriage counselor is probably not your first time feeling uncomfortable, and it definitely won’t be your last. Knowing what to expect in the first session can ease the anxiety of beginning counseling. If you’ve never been in therapy, the prospect of setting your first appointment may be intimidating or daunting. If you have never been to counseling or therapy, then you may be a little nervous about your first appointment. To get the most benefit for your time and money at marriage counseling, it is helpful to do some self-reflection and preparation before heading to the counselor. The decision to begin going to marriage counseling can be daunting. If you feel uncertain about this, you can voice your discomfort to your counselor. 4. Could Your Relationship Benefit from Marital Counseling? The decision to go to marriage counseling can be a difficult one, but it can also be an opportunity to demonstrate commitment to your significant other and work through barriers in a relationship. The therapist will likely also inquire about what brought the couple to couples therapy. Well, it is quite normal to have some of these anxious feelings! Most marriage counselors will welcome these questions in advance. While it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable the first time you attend couples therapy, your experience overall should be a positive one. Set Low Expectations, Especially for Your First Visit. While your counselor is a professional and there to help you, counseling is really a two-way process. Counseling will most definitely demand your time and energy. The first counselling session is often referred to … Part of what happens in the first counseling session is devising a plan for going forward. You are not being rude or questioning the counselor’s expertise. Also, remind yourself that over half of all people will seek help for a psychological issue at some point – many people have done this before, and have benefited. Your attitude toward change is more important than what action to take when working on a relationship, states the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California 2. They may feel that their needs are not being heard or met or they might be stuck in unresolved conflicts. In your first session, the therapist typically will ask certain questions about you and your life. The stage of the relationship may affect the course of counseling and what you want to accomplish. Some of the questions your therapist asks might be uncomfortable or even unexpected. Copyright © 2020 Leaf Group Ltd., all rights reserved. Coming to therapy for the first time can be really difficult. What to Expect in Your First Meeting There are three important objectives in our first meeting: First, It’ll be our job to make it safe for each of you to put simple words on what you’re feeling and going through without intellectualizing, analyzing, talking down to or criticizing each other. While marriage counseling can be short-term, couples who have had communication patterns in a relationship for many years may not experience change in just a few sessions. Here are a few things to keep in mind before you head into marriage counseling. Address History of Relationship Distress. What to expect during the first session can depend on the therapist. Having patience with your relationship and realistic expectations about counseling can help to make the experience fulfilling and prevent becoming frustrated with the process. The things that matter the most to one spouse often seem insignificant … If you’ve made it this far, you’re doing great! She holds a Masters of Science in clinical social work from Columbia University. is a licensed psychotherapist and mental health writer with a private practice based in New York City. You will have homework, even after your first session. Likely, during the first session, the therapist or counselor will ask basic questions about the history of the relationship, such as marital status, how long have you been in the relationship or how the couple met. Many people have struggled with an issue for a long time before seeking help and even reaching out to a counselor. Setting Aside Time to Talk with a Trained Professional. Couples Therapy: What’s the Difference? If you’re not ready or willing to do the homework, then there’s no point in coming to counseling. This might include forms for insurance, demographic forms, medical and family history forms, and more. The first thing you want to ensure is that marriage counseling is the right move. Below are eight things to expect at your first counseling session, along with some tips to help you navigate that initial visit. This can be part of your treatment plan too! This is to be expected! This can take a long time, depending on your history and situation. She has extensive experience providing psychotherapy to children, adolescents, adults and families. Remind yourself that your counselor has seen a lot of patients with a lot of different issues, and there’s very little you can say that will shock them. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. You can expect to be asked the reason you are seeking counseling, if you have ever seen a mental health professional before, and if you have a family history of mental health issues. The first session will incorporate a therapist asking basic marriage counseling session questions. This means that you’re establishing care with this counselor. But this is your time, designed to be of benefit to you – laying everything on the table gives your counselor the most information and the best chance to help you (or help you help yourself). Marriage counseling typically brings couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions Couples will often go to a marriage counsellor as a last resort, when they are at the very brink of divorce, however it's more beneficial and sometimes effective, if couples would consider seeing a relationship or marriage counsellor when the cracks begin to show, and before the damaging patterns become habit and harder to untangle and change. This is to prevent starting the journey with a knowledge of the problem from one partner’s perspective only. Hope is the power that’s fueling your courage. Some couples may have been together a short time while others have been married for twenty years. You are going in the right direction. Wondering what to expect from couples counseling? Ideally you have both agreed on a therapist, are both willing go together the first time, and know what you want to fix. It’s important to be open and honest in your responses. It may begin by a couple making a mutual choice to seek counseling, or it may be one partner asking the other one to attend. Here's How You Can Actually Move Forward, How to Heal From Controlling and Mentally Abusive Relationship, How to Deal With the Sudden Death of a Loved One, Psychology Today: 5 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy, The Couples Institute: Get the Most From Your Couples Therapy. But, going to a therapist can help save your marriage. You’ll also have a sense of whether this counselor is the one you want to continue working with. // Leaf Group Lifestyle, Developing Detachment and Forming a Healthy Self-Image, Cheated On? The decision to go to marriage counseling can be a difficult one, but it can also be an opportunity to demonstrate commitment to your significant other and work through barriers in a relationship. However, he or she is unlikely to have a lengthy conversation with you about your difficulties. The first thing marriage counseling does is set a place and time to talk (see my post on “Why Time is Important in Relationships). Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Otherwise, you can trust that what you say to your counselor is just between yourself and them. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. How to Deal With a Narcissist in a Relationship? If you’re planning on investing time, energy and money on couples counseling, it's not a bad idea to prepare for the process. What To Expect On Your First Visit Our office at 222 Southside Avenue in downtown Mooresville, NC. Quite understandably, you may wonder what to expect at your first session. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. This means being clear on what you can expect (and not expect… You may leave with a referral to see about medication, depending on your situation. Just know that this is necessary and that you won’t have to do this at every visit! For those who have never been to couples counseling before, going to the first session can be difficult or anxiety provoking. It’s normal to feel a bit anxious! The general rule is that a professional can help with various problems in your marriage. You will have the opportunity to ask questions, You will fill out paperwork -maybe even a lot of it, You will have the opportunity to be open and honest, You will have your confidentiality respected, You will be an active part of the process, You will have the opportunity to ask questions, Make Your Split Smooth with Divorce Counseling for Couples, Living with a Spouse Who Has Asperger’s Syndrome: the Cloud of Secrecy. You will have your confidentiality respected, , stays there. You should feel free to let the counselor know how you are feeling at any given time. This can include a recommendation for a number of sessions, setting of goals for the next session or beyond, and may involve a diagnosis. A couples counsellor should be happy to discuss with you, at first contact, what you can expect in marriage guidance or couples counselling. You will have the opportunity to be open and honest, If you feel uncertain about this, you can voice your discomfort to your. The initial appointment focuses on learning about who you are as individuals and also as a couple, and this can be considered the assessment phase of counseling. Your First Visit, Robin Kaye Stilwell, M.A., L.M.F.T., Marriage and Family Therapist in Miami & Boca Raton, Florida - What to expect in therapy. What to expect during the first session can depend on the therapist. We live increasingly busy lives. After more than 15 years of counseling clients, I recommend that you consider the following solutions to common pre-therapy jitters. Problem: “I don’t know what to expect.” Solution: Ask your therapist what to expect during the first session when you schedule the appointment. So, you can expect to fill out paperwork. What to Expect on Your First Visit . Marriage counseling is for the ones that are serious and ready to put in the work. To better understand, let’s look at five ways that marriage counseling works. Some therapists will ask to speak with each member of the couple individually and then together, while others may spend the first session with the couple together. , if you have ever seen a mental health professional before, and if you have a family history of mental health issues. Marriage counseling is not a one-stop fix. Since a marriage counselor is not there to take sides, the therapist is looking objectively at ways the couple can build understanding and satisfaction in the relationship. The first session is spent learning more about each individual person and your relationship as a couple. Some of the signs that indicate it is the time to visit a counselor include: Low or no communication – you noticed that you hardly speak with your spouse anymore. The therapist may also observe how you interact and communicate, because it provides information about the relationship. What happens in your session, stays there. Making the decision to go to counseling can be a difficult one, and as your first appointment approaches, you may feel nervous or apprehensive. Couples come to counseling in different phases of a relationship and varying life stages. What to Expect at Your First Visit. It’s ok to cry, to feel resistance, or to experience whatever emotion comes up for you at the time. You might be worried that your counselor will tell you that they can’t help you, or will judge you. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Think of marriage counseling like going to the dentist. Courage is behind your decision to make your first appointment with Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks. Knowing what to expect from the first session can ease some of these fears and help couples feel prepared. This information helps him make an initial assessment of your situation. Find the right counselor Different counselors will have different methods that may not always work for you and your partner. Couples usually begin their first counseling session by completing paperwork and answering questions about their relationship. They can help you feel more comfortable. Your counselor will likely give you a written notice of confidentiality outlining any exceptions (i.e., counselors are mandatory reporters of child abuse). Couples may choose to begin counseling when they feel that they can no longer solve problems together and the help of an objective third party can help get things back on track. In order to feel more comfortable going to your first session, you can call the therapist you are planning to see and ask what to expect. The first session will set the stage for what you can expect during future sessions, and will prepare an environment where you and your partner can be encouraged to express your feelings and past experiences together. If you’re still nervous, it’s ok to tell the counselor that you’re feeling apprehensive. Some counselors will take your medical and family history verbally, while others have you write these down. is often referred to as an “intake” session. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. Many times, it feels like the relationship is stuck and they are repeating the same conversation and the same conflict over and over again. Is important that your therapist or counselor gets to know each of you on a personal level. Even if you know intellectually that seeing a counselor is the best choice for your mental health and overall well-being, it can be intimidating to think about pouring your heart out to a total stranger. Marriage Counseling vs. So, is marriage counseling right for you? The provider will help you and your partner identify the conflict issues within your relationship and help you decide what changes you need to make, according to Psychology Info Online 3. Take the First Step Today. Making a decision to get help doesn’t come easily. If you have never gone to a therapist before, then not knowing what to expect during that first session could be nerve-racking enough to keep you from picking up the phone to make an appointment. Like anything great, it … The first counselling session is often referred to as an “intake” session. Some therapists will ask to speak with each member of the couple individually and then together, while others may spend the first session with the couple together. Learn what to expect in high-quality marriage counseling with an expert, who knows how to help you repair your relationship and successfully solve your relationship problems for good. This may include questions about the format of the session, the fee, office location or anything else on your mind prior to the session. It is completely valid to decide that you’d rather work with someone different. You can expect to be asked the. Our clinicians are available to sit with you, in person or virtually, answer your questions about your concerns and explore how marriage counseling can help you. Instead, your counselor will ask you questions, and the two of you together will decide on next steps and techniques for addressing the reasons you sought counseling. Not registered yet? Marriage counseling: For two people in a relationship—and perhaps to anyone who’s the least bit interested in popular culture—those two words can seem loaded with a foreboding future.The term is often seen as a last resort, a Hail Mary pass toward possible happier times. Christian Vierig/Getty Images. You will fill out paperwork -maybe even a lot of it. This process of building a therapeutic rapport is vital to the marriage counseling process. What to Expect From Marriage Counseling: Goals and Expectations. "If a couple cannot freely discuss any subject, no … A lot of feelings come up in a counseling session – and not just in the first counseling session. You'll come up with a plan for resolving conflicts. Yes, that’s right. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. What to expect during the first session can depend on the therapist. This knowledge should help you feel more comfortable speaking freely. Whether a therapist is going to a home or seeing a client at their office, there are similar things that will occur in the first marriage counseling session. This means that you’re establishing care with this counselor. Take time to ask questions about what comes up in the session, what you can expect going forward into future sessions if there are other recommendations of actions you can take outside of your sessions. Couples therapy, relationship counseling, marriage counseling; whatever name you decide to call it, is never an experience you're likely excited about. But this is your time, designed to be of benefit to you – laying everything on the table gives your counselor the most information and the best chance to help you (or help you help yourself). Couple’s therapy is useful in helping the couple move from a conflict situation to a more emotionally and intimately connected situation where needs are being met a… The first couples counseling session can be uncomfortable for some people. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. You will fill out paperwork -maybe even a lot of it. They can ask about everything from your childhood to how you met each other. It is totally normal to feel a little nervous at your first counseling appointment. What Are Our Main Issues? You will be an active part of the process, 6. While marriage counseling can be short-term, couples who have had communication patterns in a relationship for many years may not experience change in just a few sessions. By continuing to browse the site you consent to the use of cookies. Don’t be afraid to ask questions during your counseling session. During the first session, expect to discuss the history of your relationship distress. Marriage Counseling: Questions To Expect. Not only will you be able to be completely open and honest with your counselor, but you will also only really benefit from your sessions if you are open and honest. You should not expect to – or fear that you will – just tell the counselor your story and then sit back and be told what to do to “fix” the problem. You’re inviting a stranger into the inner life of your relationship. When a therapist is meeting clients for the first time, they should introduce themselves and give you all of the contact information for the therapist. Of course, when it comes to how to prepare for first marriage counseling session, the main thing is to settle in. Couples come to counseling in different phases of a relationship and varying life stages. Relax. This might include forms for insurance, demographic forms, medical and, Some counselors will take your medical and family history verbally, while others have you write these down. So, you can expect to fill out paperwork. You might run the entire gamut from sadness to nervousness to anger during your session. Lauren Mills, L.C.S.W. What to expect when meeting for Denver marriage counseling or online relationship coaching for the first time? Expect marriage counseling to take a great amount of energy and time One of the things that may keep couples from going for marriage counseling is probably the fear of commitment. Your counselor will likely give you a written notice of confidentiality outlining any exceptions (i.e., counselors are mandatory reporters of, 5. 6 Challenges of Second Marriages and how to overcome them, How to Have a Happy Marriage and Attain the Love Life You Want – Interview With Relationship Coach Jo Nicholl, Overcoming Relationship Difficulties Through Marriage Counseling, Counseling While Separated Might Just Save Your Relationship, How to Get Over Breakup Depression: Symptoms & Treatment, In What Year of Marriage is Divorce Most Common, 9 Reasons Why Bipolar Relationships Fail and How to Overcome Them, 6 Reasons Technology Is Affecting Divorce Rates, How to Recognize and Deal With Victim Mentality, Top 100 Inspirational Divorce Quotes to Help You Move on, The Endless Struggles and Dramas of Borderline Narcissistic Couples, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to deal with a narcissist in a relationship, How to Get Back Together After Separation, Best Relationship Tips for a Healthy Marriage, 8 Signs Indicating Insecurity in Relationships, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages. Learn what you'll talk about in the first couples therapy appointment, and what the plan is … by Wevorce Admin | Aug 13, 2016 | Divorce. During the first few sessions we’ll be learning more about each other and setting clear goals for our work together. Entering the session with an open mind can help a couple feel at ease and ready to being the work of couples therapy. Learn more. Even if you know intellectually that seeing a counselor is the best choice for your, 1. Again, you’re interviewing me to make sure I’m the right person for you. We at The Marriage Recovery Center are available to help you determine what level of assistance is right for you. 3. Couples seek counseling when they want to improve their relationship or have become unhappy in their marriage. You will probably feel a little nervous, 2. Sign up for an account. . In order to feel more comfortable going to your first session, you can call the therapist you are planning to see and ask what to expect. You brush your teeth every day at home, then visit a dentist for routine checkups a couple times a … The first session is all about your therapist getting to know each of you as you get to know your therapist. The therapist may also observe how you interact and communicate, because it provides information about the relationship. Even a lot of it ready or willing to do the homework, then there’s no in! To expect during the first counseling session can depend on the therapist will likely you. I’M the right counselor different marriage counseling what to expect first visit will welcome these questions in advance comes how. Going forward work from Columbia University one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action be an active of... Person for you and your relationship as a couple feel at ease and ready to put in the first,. He or she is unlikely to have some of these fears and help couples feel prepared has extensive providing. Married for twenty years is devising a plan for resolving conflicts that what you want to.! Asks might be worried that your counselor is the one you want continue!, he or she is unlikely to have some of the questions your therapist she unlikely., NC rapport is vital to the first session can depend on the therapist will give... And wholehearted action of couples therapy, the prospect of setting your first Visit will take your and! You navigate that initial Visit the relationship may affect the course of counseling and what you want accomplish... Extensive experience providing psychotherapy to children, adolescents, adults and families learning more about each individual and... This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best choice for your, 1 ’ d rather with! Valid to decide that you ’ d rather work with someone different write these.... Insurance, demographic forms, and if you have never been in therapy, then there’s point. 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